Thursday, March 3, 2011


by John Prins

[Announcer's Voice]

"In the days of the War of the Alliance, valiant Terra Novan troops fought bravely, but to no avail. In the face of advanced Terran technology and hordes of mindless GREL supersoldiers, it looked like there was no hope for this world..."


Here it comes...
Seven stories high...
Breeeaaaattthhhiiiinnnnggg fire!!!!
It blots out the sky!!!!
And Ferretzooki....

[Ferretzilla bursts from a gigantic heap of scrap, guns blazing as it wipes an entire group of CEF tanks in seconds]

[Ferretzooki zips around the battlefield, firing off bazooka rounds and missiles but failing to hit a damn thing.]

[Announcer's Voice]

"Built from the scrap yards of Khara Ad-Din by retired engineer Professer Lars Diango, piloted by ace southern duelist Felix Sabatier and gunned by northern sharpshooter Jo Willis, Ferretzilla is Terra Nova's last hope!!!!"


Ferretzilla was the subject of a short lived cartoon series produced shortly after the end of the War of the Alliance. An enormous strider, it pulled the Terra Novan forces' collective bacon out of the fire time and time again. And yes, it did look like a giant Ferret gear.

Ferretzilla was armed to the teeth with anti-tank missiles, laser beam 'headlights', one REALLY BIG GUN, a powerful flamer unit (used to crisp entire platoons of GRELs more than once), and a pair of anti-personnel grenade launchers.

Ferretzilla was pretty darn tough but did take damage on more than one occasion, only to rise again and smash CEF forces like they were made of tin foil.

Ferretzilla's only real problem was Ferretzooki, a modified Ferret gear piloted by Jo's younger (annoying) sister Rose, who was reckless to a fault and always getting in over her head (though never actually hurt, thanks to Ferretzilla). Ferretzilla was also a little clumsy, and occasionally destroyed (unimportant) property for humour value.


Ferretzilla always won; it was his series, after all. The only thing that Ferretzilla couldn't beat was the Northern Censor Board, who deemed that Ferretzilla was too violent for children's programming. Deprived of Northern advertising dollars, Ferretzilla folded after a short 42 episodes.

Ferretzilla can still be found on Southern television, at odd hours of the night on local programming. Ferretzilla toys can be found as collectors items at bazaars and auctions.

Code Name:FerretzillaProduction Code:None
Manufacturer:Prof. DiangoUse:CEF Stomping
Height: 18 m Width: 12 m
Average Armor Thickness: 210 mm Armor Material: Armor Scrap
Standard Operational Weight: 45,350 kg Maximum Speed on Clear Ground: 61 kph
Powerplant: 4 x Gas Turbine Horsepower: 4 x 1500 hp

Vehicle Type: FERRETZILLA!!!!
Threat Value: 2723
OTV: 5373.1
DTV: 716.2
MTV: 2080.5
Size: 12
Default Size: 14
Crew: 2
Bonus Actions: 2
Cost: 635,366.67
Production Type: Scratchbuilt
Individual Lemons: 12
Primary Movement Mode: Walker
Combat Speed: 3
Top Speed: 6
Secondary Movement Mode: Ground
Combat Speed: 5
Top Speed:10
Maneuver Value:- 1
Deployment Range:500 km
Sensors:+ 1
Sensor Range:5 km
Communications:+ 1
Communication Range:50 km
Fire Control:+ 0
Armor: Light Damage:32
Heavy Damage:64
Overkill: 96


Backup Sensors
Manipulator Arm R12, Can Punch [x2]
HEAT Resistant R4
HEP Desert
Reinforced Armor [Front] R4
Target Designator R4
Automation R2
Urban Friendly (a little TOO friendly...)
Anti-Missile System R1, 20 Shots
Ram Plate [Front] (barricade-busting action!)
Smoke Launcher 5 Shots
Weapon Link [HLCs]


Decreased Maneuver [Walker] R1
Exposed Movement Systems
Large Sensor Profile R2 (theme music)
Sensor Dependant
Annoyance: Clumsy around buildings (crash..smash..oops..)


Annoyance: Ferretzooki (hahah! 12 dice and ONE defect! message from GOD, boyos!!!)


ATM [FF] w/ 8 shots
HLC [F] w/ 60 shots
HLC [F] w/ 60 shots
HFG [F] w/ 9 shots (Ferret..CANNON!!!!!)
HFL [F] w/ 50 shots
APGL [T] w/ 20 shots
APGL [T] w/ 20 shots

[Theme Music]

[End Credits]

[John Prins] [Heavy Type]

The above article was archived from Heavy Type: A Heavy Gear Fan Fiction Website as part of the Hermes 72 Archive Project. It has been edited from its original form and is used without permission.

Heavy Gear Roleplaying Game


Hermes 72 - Heavy Gear RPG - Most artwork Copyright 2002 Dream Pod 9, Inc.