Friday, January 7, 2011


After a two-week hiatus, it was time for more action, more adventure, more surprise plot twists! That's right, it's time for Wordslingin'!

[The sign of any good plan. For certain definitions of "good."]
Georges: "This is gonna bite us in the ass, but let's go for it!"

[Josh the GM accidentally gets the date wrong, and starts describing the weather for one day in the future before we catch him on it.]
Josh the GM: "The morning air of 29th Spring--"
Georges: "Is remarkably similar to the 30th."

[Any NPC with a name inevitably means trouble.]
Georges: "Shit, someone with a name! That's bad!"

[Clearly, some people at the gaming table have dirtier minds than I do.]
Kain: "The only other suggestion I have is man-to-man shadows. Or, in this case, man-to-nun."
Doc: "Well, that seems like the best situation."

[Rules? Rules are for *other* people!]
Kain: "The nuns are under the belief that you will be unarmed, so conceal your firearms."

[Kain starts giving orders to PaxSec security.]
Kain: "Any questions?"
PaxSec goon: "Yeah, who are you?"
Kain: "I'm the security liason. And at the moment, I'm the one telling you what to do. Now, any questions about your jobs?"

[Disaster is inevitable. You know it is.]
Doc: "Shall we bring in our principal and fast-forward to disaster?"

[It's good to know our GM respects our choices.]
Brock: "We still have our dignity."
Josh the GM: "You have no such thing! That was the first to go!"

[We're involved in day-long guard duty, in which nothing happens.]
Kain: "That's how we like it: boring and profitable."

[Luka, the reporter, always seems to be where the action is.]
Josh the GM: "Helen Luka's not even there when your hopper lands."
Julie: "Good. No, wait..."

[Oh, what our lives have descended to.]
Doc: "Okay, let's go somewhere decent. They won't expect that!"

[Integrating Maia into the party... we've still got some work to do.]
Kain: "Maia is to blame again!"

[The Doc using someone's title is your parents using your full name. It's a sure sign that something's wrong.]
Lenaris: "Doctor, how ya doing?"
Doc: "Colonel..."
Lenaris: "Uh-oh."

[Jurisdiction? Jurisdiction is for *other* people!]
Kain: "I have the jurisdiction of men with guns."

[Just when I thought we couldn't possibly be any more paranoid than we already are, Josh the GM pulls an uber plot twist.]
Brock: "All this teaches us is that our level of paranoia is clearly not high enough!"

[We have discovered that one of the nuns we were guarding is, in fact, the mastermind head of the BRF, a major terrorist organization.]
Doc: "Aren't you taking this personally?"
Maia: "You have an elevated sense of your own importance, Doctor."

[Bringing the "meta" back into "metagaming."]
Brock: "Just say, 'Look, you're an NPC, we're PCs. If anyone's gonna find her, it's us.'"
Josh the GM: "He says, 'You might be PCs, but I'm the voice of the GM.'"

[I get the sense that Kain still isn't taking Maia 100% seriously.]
Kain: "I warn you, I may throw someone off the Terrace."
Maia: "I'd prefer that be a last resort, not a first resort."
Kain: "Okay, it won't be a first resort."

[Strauss is flying the hopper between buildings in the city.]
Maia: "Don't hit anything. I like being not dead."

[What's our go-to solution? Oh, right...]
Kain: "Just shoot somebody!"

[The Prospects isn't necessarily known for its sturdy architecture.]
Julie: "Can we land on the building?"
Cliff: *rolls* "Yes."
Josh the GM: "Is the building strong enough to support the hopper?"
Cliff: "That's not my fault!"

[The Prospects -- the slums district of Peace River -- is currently a mass of riots and effectively a war zone. Luka the reporter is on the scene.]
Kain: "Ms. Luka, what brings you to the Prospects?"
Strauss: "That's a stupid question."

[It's always good to be direct in your questioning.]
Doc: "What are you not telling us? No, wait. There's probably a lot you're not telling us. What are you not telling us that can save a lot of lives?"

[Always an indication that you're on the right track.]
Josh the GM: "The location she gives seems legit because you're getting shot as you approach."

[Offensive piloting? Check.]
Cliff: "I'm gonna charge 'em."
Josh the GM: "With the aircraft?"
Cliff: "Yeah!"
Josh the GM: "Um..."

[Kain has captured a prisoner, who's trying very hard to avoid getting thrown out the back of the hopper from ten stories up.]
Prisoner: "There's an arms cache at the Dawg's Bawls."
Kain: "We got that one already."
Prisoner: "Then why do you need-- Wait, no!"

[Sometimes I wonder about Strauss' motivations.]
Kally Lang: "The whole city's exploding!"
Strauss: "Yes! Many opportunities for fun!"

[I suspect this is going to be written up as an actual filk someday.]
Kally Lang: "All we can hear are sirens and gunfire."
Kain: (singing) "These are a few of my favorite things..."

[This is funny, because we've been acting like goons way more than PaxSec.]
Escobar: "We have to follow laws, unlike PaxSec, who can act like goons whenever they want."
Brock: "Yay, acting like goons!"

[I'll give him this: Kain's damn good at intimidation.]
Harpster: "There was Anizev..."
Kain: "He's dead. He also didn't answer my questions."

[Kain's got such a way with words sometimes.]
Kain: "Give me someplace to go. Someplace I won't be here with my hacksaw. Remember that every minute I'm cutting my way through goons is another minute you get to live pain-free. Think creatively."

[Enhanced interrogation techniques... actually, no. I don't wanna know.]
Kain: "Okay, bring me a curling iron."
Josh the GM: "Now I'm curious."
Brock: "It's hot and of narrow diameter."

And that's it for this time. Join us next week, when we try to single-handedly prevent the world from devolving into war. See you then!


Hermes 72 - Heavy Gear RPG - Most artwork Copyright 2002 Dream Pod 9, Inc.