Friday, June 18, 2010


Today we fought swamp monsters, faked our own abduction by terrorists, and plotted to assassinate highly-placed political figures. It must be another episode of Wordslingin'!

[The party is in the middle of a live-ammo demonstration of some of Paxton's guns when suddenly a half-dozen vicious swamp sharks jump out of the water. One swallows half a guy's torso in one bite.]
Georges/Doc: "This concludes our presentation! Be sure to pick up your party pack on the way out!"

[It's all about interpreting the situation in the most favourable light possible.]
Josh the GM: "You're on your ass."
Brock: "That's okay. It's a more stable firing position."

[We're fighting some particularly vicious swamp sharks.]
Sam: "How do we fight these things?!?"
Doc: "They're susceptible to bullets. I advise not trying to talk them down."

[Sadly, Brock was perfectly correct in this reasoning.]
Brock: "In Maia's case, surprise is better than no surprise. Trust me, your soul is safer this way."
Georges: "Unless things go horribly wrong."

[This is one of those moments when you realize that the people you're gaming with have a completely different mentality from yours...]
Brock: "Here's the plan: we're going to fake our abduction by terrorists."

[I'm reminded of a line from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Five hundred bonus points to people who figure out which one.]
Georges: "I rearrange things so it looks like it wasn't rearranged."

[How to know where you stand with the rest of the party, part 1.]
Doc: "You want to take Sam or Maia?"
Kain: "Sam."
Doc: "Fuck you."

[This can only end badly.]
Ariel: "I wonder if I have enough slight of hand to juggle chainsaws."
Josh the GM: "Don't fumble."

[Remember, we've staged a terrorist attack. No actual terrorists are involved.]
Sam: "I think I was shot by an invisible bullet."
Doc: "It'll take two invisible weeks to heal."

[Sometimes it takes someone else to point out that you are, in fact, lying to yourself.]
Maia: "If we see any of those shark things again, you're on your own."
Doc: "Can you swim?"
Maia: "No."
Doc: "Then you're on your own."

[Way to get yourself in trouble with the authorities, Kain.]
Emirate guard: "What are you looking at?"
Kain: (Staring directly at him) "Nothing much."

[The most concise and yet informative description of the night.]
Josh the GM: "It's like Venice without any of the good parts."

[Ever get the sense that you're just setting yourself up sometimes?]
Kain: "Who's the least identifiable among us?"
Josh the GM: "That'd be you, Kain."

[Yet another succinct but apt description from our GM.]
Josh the GM: "It's standard Eastern Sun Emirate... what's the word?... jumbled cacophony of insanity!"

[We're meeting with a group of a half-dozen underground resistance members. They don't entirely trust us.]
Kain: "So... you are the raw materials from which we are going to forge a revolutionary army."

[Lying? Omitting the truth? Or are we just reading too much into things?]
Kain: "Do you have access to Gears?"
Prangap, our informant: "Um..."
Kain: "I'll take that as a maybe. Probably yes."

["Consensus" is such a strong word.]
Doc: "I'm glad we're all in agreement... I say for the four of us."

[It's good to know where your strengths are.]
Brock: "We specialize in the ridiculous."

[Sometimes you've just got to ignore your conscience. Or at least that's Kain's philosophy, I'm guessing.]
Josh the GM: "You can only imagine what's happening to your friends in the prison."
Brock: "I choose not to imagine it, so I'm fine."

[Prangap, our informant, has just told us about supposedly-secret tunnels below the Emir's palace. Apparently the party's friends tried to use the same entrance half a year ago and haven't been heard from since.]
Kain: "I don't like your plan. Especially since 100% of previous attempts to use this plan have failed."

[Kain's lessons in negotiations, part 1.]
Kain: "If you can't convince us your sources are reliable, you'll have to come with us."

[The only problem with the plan for Maia to pilot the getaway vehicle is that Maia does not actually have any points in piloting.]
Brock: "Fatal crashes won't be tolerated."
Josh the GM: "For long."

[How to know where you stand with the rest of the party, part 2.]
Brock: "I want a shield. A human shield."
Georges: "Then bring Maia along."

[Ariel's plan to leave poisoned cake for the guards to eat is meeting with mixed results.]
Ariel: "The psychology is sound: no one turns down free cake."
Georges: "This is valid, but of limited tactical value."

[It's all about the ability to concentr... squirrel!]
Ariel: "There's also the alternate plan of... Wait, I forgot it."

[How to screw over your allies, part 1.]
Georges: "These guys get what they want, too. They just may die. But if they're true revolutionaries..."

And that's it for this week. Next time, get ready for some infiltration, excitement, and gun slinging action!


Hermes 72 - Heavy Gear RPG - Most artwork Copyright 2002 Dream Pod 9, Inc.