Thursday, December 16, 2010


Having now gone to ground, the PCs totally failed to capture the head of the SRID but instead got a concession prize of a high-ranking terrorist in the BRF. Such is life, I suppose.

[With our main headquarters blown up, we've had to find an alternate base of operations.]
Josh the GM: "A meat-packing plant? Yeah, that's not foreboding."
Georges: "So long as it freaks the hell out of whoever we're bringing there."

[Advice from the parent who knows she's not the one who'll need to deal with her teenage daughter for several weeks.]
Maia: (to her daughter) "If you're going to get into too much trouble, just don't get caught."

[Megalomaniacal, much?]
Doc: "We'll all go down to Basal when they inaugurate our statues."

[As with so many things, you need to be careful to define all the terms of your requests.]
Sam: "Can I have something like my old Gear back?"
Kain: "Yes. At some point."
Doc: "But not now."

[The Doc's office manager, Vemeer, is in a coma in the hospital. The Doc decides to pay him a comforting visit. For certain values of 'comforting.']
Doc: "I know you can hear me. You're just slacking off. That's why I'm bringing your boss, the coffeemaker, here."

[Way to sweet-talk the senior government members of Paxton, Doc.]
Helena Hitachi: "I didn't know you could pilot a Gear. It seems you're a man of many talents."
Doc: "I haven't even cooked for you yet."

[Kain pays a visit to our old interrogation subject, Anna Balacan.]
Kain: "Ms. Balacan, the Department of Internal Revenue and Security needs your assistance."
Balacan: "Do I have a choice?"
Kain: "Of course. You can help us, or you can leave Peace River."

[Kain has just finished turning Balacan into a nervous wreck.]
Kain: "Now, it is essential that you not be nervous."

[We do an absolutely pedestrian job of camouflaging a hopper.]
Brock: "When they see this, they're gonna say, 'Man, that sand dune looks like a hopper.'"

[Kain decides that the best way to make Balacan forget that she's nervous is to make her absolutely flippin' furious.]
Kain: "On what you make a season, I bet you could buy your family by now."

[Plan: piss off Balacan -- successful.]
Brock: "So long as she's not nervous."
Josh the GM: "She's fucking argumentative now!"
Brock: "Good. Yay for provocation!"

[Clearly, I do not even begin to know the meaning of 'over-thinking things.']
Julie: "We've planned this as well as we can."
Brock: "You missed the 'six identical rental vans' plan. This has the benefit of being more ridiculous and also simpler."

[We spent a solid hour at the gaming table preparing our trap for Mme. Xiphos, head of the SRID in Peace River. The plan was, if not foolproof, at least extremely well thought out. Except for the fact that Xiphos didn't show up.]
Josh the GM: "I hate to be a killjoy, but..."

[This is just the way we roll.]
Josh the GM: "You want to sneak into an ally's hangout?"

[After Xiphos doesn't show up to fall into our painstakingly-conceived trap.]
Julie: "Happy GMs seldom kill their players."
Ariel: "But they do make their plans come to naught!"

[Childhood car rides would go much more smoothly if this worked in real life.]
Brock: "Are we there yet?"
Josh the GM: "No."
Brock: "I wait until we're there. Are we there yet?"
Josh the GM: "Yeah, okay."

[Maia stops Kain from throwing one of our prisoners over the edge of the Third Terrace to his certain death. We get the information out of him another way.]
Kain: "I still want to throw him over the edge."
Doc: "Well, since we have no tactical reason to do so, you need to ask yourself some deep questions about your motivations."

[Somehow, saving that life is now a lot less comforting.]
Doc: (to Maia) "You've already saved a life... for the time being."
Kain: "Prolonged."

[The Doc is pretending to implant an explosive in the backs of our prisoners.]
Prisoner: "You're a monster!"
Kain: "Yes, yes. It's true."
Doc: "There are various degrees of monstrosity."

[I swear, trying to be the voice of reason in this group is a constant headache.]
Kain: "Am I allowed to kill them now, Kessler?"
Maia: "If they try to kill you first."
Kain: "Define--"
Maia: "Oh, just kill the bad guys!"

[We're being attacked by 20 guys, but Sam is awesome at gunslinging.]
Ariel: "They're losing two guys a round."
Josh the GM: "Cocky, much?"
Ariel: "Is it cocky if I'm stating the truth?"

[This could be a mantra somewhere, I'm sure.]
Brock: "There's nothing like speculative grenade throwing."

[Is this even possible?]
Kain: "Harpster's running! Hit him with the car! Gently!"

[We no longer have a need for our prisoner.]
Brock: "I push him out of the van."
Maia: "Wait, but--"
Doc: (comfortingly) "He's alive."
Kain: "I could still shoot him."

[Yup, saving people isn't nearly as satisfying as it's chalked up to be.]
Kain: (to Maia) "One of these people is going to come back as our nemesis, and it'll be your fault."

[We've captured a major terrorist.]
Doc: "You have to give us some incentive to get out of this van. Impress us."

[Remind me why I hang out with these people?]
Sam: "What part of the brain do you suppose ideology is in? Do you think I could shoot it?"
Kain: "I can guarantee you could end his ideology in a single shot."

[Generally a good rule of thumb.]
Sam: "How do I know who's an innocent bystander?"
Kain: "The people who scream and run away will be the innocent. The ones who try to shoot us will be guilty."

[This is only funny because we're coming directly from the shooting at the Jasmine Cafe.]
Officer Escobar: "Did you hear about the shooting at the Jasmine Cafe?"
Kain: (deadpan) "No."

And that's it for this time. The next game will probably be in January, when we get to the actual secret talks that the last several months of real-time have been leading up to. See you then!


Hermes 72 - Heavy Gear RPG - Most artwork Copyright 2002 Dream Pod 9, Inc.