Friday, October 29, 2010


The plot thickened in last night's session, as Our Heroes (tm) traveled deep into the slums of Peace River and discovered yet more actors in the convoluted web of political players. On the up-side, we managed to avoid getting ourselves killed, which is always useful.

[The universal Plan B.]
Brock: "Alternately, we could fire on their building with ortillery."

[We're having trouble contacting one of our allies.]
Georges: "What kind of frikkin' intelligence organization are we running here?"
Brock: "Well, we did blow up his last office."

[Clearly, Kain has never been a woman.]
Kain: "You have one job: to look hot and get us meetings!"
Sam: "That's two jobs."
Kain: "If looking hot is a full-time job, you're paying her too much."

[Maia leads Sam and Strauss into the Prospects, the slums of Peace River.]
Maia (to Sam): "I need you to be on the lookout for people who want to do nasty things to us in particular, as opposed the ones who want to do nasty things to people in general."

[Josh the GM is trying to describe the ugliness of architecture in the Prospects.]
Josh the GM: "At least brutalist architecture had a name; this is just shit."

[Maia et al have been given the name of a particularly rough bar where we might be able to find some of the people we're looking for. Maia realizes that there are at least a half-dozen lookouts eying us as we get close. She decides to move on and come back later with more firepower.]
Sam: "Wasn't there a place we were supposed to go?"
Maia: "Nope."

[Strauss is our newest and youngest character, who came to the Doc hat-in-hand after a failed business venture.]
Strauss: "I don't need to be guarded!"
Kain: "Yes, you do. We don't want you to fold another business on us."

[This is only funny because Peace River does indeed get destroyed about four years hence game-time.]
Kain: "Unless we're counting down the days to the end of Peace River, I don't care what day it is!"

[When you're a player in the underworld, it's good to know who your allies are.]
Kain: "If we'd known they were Forzi the first time, we probably wouldn't have shot at them, out of professional courtesy."

[From the department of running jokes...]
Strauss: "They have pigs in a blanket there."
Sam: "Okay, that was last week."

[More firepower equals better firepower.]
Doc: "Are you bringing your pistol or your rifle?"
Kain: "Why choose?"

[Somehow, this makes me wish I'd joined this game years ago.]
Strauss: "Ever see a normal car turn into a death machine?"
Kain: "Yes, yes we have. You missed the juggernaut."

[We arrive at the really rough bar.]
Georges: "Is there a free table?"
Josh the GM: "Yeah."
Georges: "Too bad."

[The Doc is being a difficult customer.]
Bar manager: "Is there a problem?"
Kain: "Is the whiskey on the table yet?"
Josh the GM: "Yeah."
Kain: "Then no."

[Discussing previous dangerous encounters.]
Maia: "How did that work out for you?"
Sam: "I'm alive, aren't I?"
Maia: "That's how you just the effectiveness of your arguments?"
Kain: "It's the ultimate measure."

[Did we mention it's a really run-down, seedy bar?]
Doc: "You know what? I'm carrying a bug."
Sam: "I bet a lot of people in here are carrying bugs." *scratches his hair*

[Kain and Doc try to pick a fight with people who are playing pool.]
Josh the GM: "They're bigger than you. A lot bigger."
Brock: "It's okay. I'm still puffed."

[It's good to know where your standards lie when getting into a fist-fight.]
Kain: "I'm not above grabbing a pool ball. In fact, I'm well below that."

[Kain and the Doc play pool. Kain rolls a 7; the Doc fumbles his roll.]
Kain: "I pwn you!"

[Remind me how a nice girl like Maia wound up with these people?]
Doc: "These guys we can torture."
Kain: "I suggest following them back and then contemplating torture."

[Vemeer runs the Doc's office in Peace River. He's a difficult person.]
Vemeer: "Don't you ever sleep?"
Doc: "No, I stay up al night thinking of you."
Kain: "And ways to torment you."

[Vemeer has missed a crucial piece of evidence.]
Doc: "You're fired."
Kain: "We promote the fax machine."

[Trying to decide which of two people we should follow when they split up.]
Brock: "Who's taller? It's always the short guy who's the leader."

[Always a possibility.]
Doc: "Either that, or the GM lied to you."

[The situation evolving seems to pit Kain and the Doc against several dozen terrorists.]
Maia: "I don't know who else you've gone up against, but I think the BRF might be more than the two of you can handle on your own."
Kain: "That's because you don't know us."

[Sam shoots a guy standing behind him without looking.]
Brock: "Through the specially-cut hole in your jacket? It would be awesome if you had one."
Josh the GM: "You'll have one now!"

[Sometimes the level of bad-ass-ness gets a bit out of hand.]
Georges: "You catch the ejected shell with your armpit."
Brock: "I want to see the roll on that one!"

[Sam administers first aid to the guy he just wounded while Strauss provides backup.]
Ariel: "Strauss is gonna cover me with a grenade."

[It's good to have a plan.]
Kain: "There are a couple ways we can play this, and the one I like best involves Strauss crashing in here with a machine gun and saying, 'Nobody move.'"

[It's also good to think through your plans.]
Strauss: "Why not throw in some grenades?"
Doc: "Because we're inside!"

[It's also good to plan your codewords ahead of time.]
Kain: "'No need to get up on our account' means come in here and don't start shooting. 'Sorry to have disturbed you' means drive the car through the wall and shoot everyone who's not us."

[Kain's tips for negotiations, part 1.]
Anizev, a badass NPC: "You have me at a disadvantage."
Kain: "What sort of a disadvantage?"

[This can be interpreted on so many levels. Unfortunately, the way the Doc intended it was not the way Maia heard it.]
Doc: "We'd really like to 'tap' that resource, if you have it."

[How to know there are too many political players on the scene.]
Kassanga, SRID intelligence agent and owner of a terrorist bar: "We try not to associate with terrorists."
Kain: "Which 'we' are we talking about here?"

[Suddenly Maia finds herself directly in many political cross-hairs.]
Kain: "You've gone from neck-deep to..."
Doc: "Drowning."
Kain: "Beyond drowning. You're wearing cement shoes at the bottom of the MacAllen network."

[Kain's lessons in how to deal with prisoners, part 1.]
Strauss: "Does he know 'asylum' means 'broken neck'?"

[Oh, how little he knows.]
Cliff: "I thought I was with the good guys!"
Brock: "We are, strictly speaking, big-picture good guys, which might necessitate being small-picture bad guys."

And that's it for this week. Join us next time when we see if we can hack through the political web of intrigue with a machete.


Hermes 72 - Heavy Gear RPG - Most artwork Copyright 2002 Dream Pod 9, Inc.