Friday, October 22, 2010


For the first time since... well, probably since I joined the game, all the player characters were pulling in the same direction today. And look out, world! We can actually get stuff accomplished when we're all pulling in the same direction! Who'd a thunk it? Today was also a day I routinely found myself in hysterical laughter. Which means it must be time for quotes!

[It's nice to know that you have this kind of power over your subordinates.]
Kain (to Prabal): "Give yourself a beating!"

[Doc tries to make the new guy, Robert Strauss, at ease. Kain has no such need.]
Doc: "I like people who are forthright."
Kain: "No, you don't."

[Doc's clerk is self-important in the manner of self-important civil servants everywhere.]
Doc: "You're only as smart as you think you are."
Brock: "Then he must be a super-genius!"

[Kain impersonates a delivery man while Sam hides in a large shipping box.]
Kain: "We're going to examine the zen philosophy of ultimate boxness."

[Kain, posing a delivery man, has been doing his best to piss off the reporter who shares an office with our surveillance target so she'll leave the room.]
Reporter (exasperated): "Fine. I'm getting a coffee. When I come back, all I want to see is that box."
Kain: "Get two."

[It's always important to define your terms.]
Brock: "It's only trespassing if they ask you to leave."
Cliff (our newest player): "Or if they shoot you on sight."

[Sometimes you gotta wonder how Sam sees the world.]
Doc: "And Maia is recently no longer our kidnapping victim."
Sam: "We kidnapped her?"
Doc: "...Yes."

[Kain and Doc are never ones to pass up the opportunity to interrogate their friends.]
Doc (to Maia): "See, by being kidnapped, you avoided the whole inquisition. Speaking of which, how are your finances?"

[It's good to know that we're helping our friends. For certain definitions of 'helping'.]
Doc: "Vimeer is a man bent on being miserable in life. So it's up to us, as his friends, to make sure he lives up to that goal."

[It's a running joke in the game that everyone always fumbles when they try to throw grenades.]
Strauss (our newest player character): "And I want grenades."
Kain: "No grenades."
Doc: "You have to earn grenades."

[Virmeer can be unlikeable at times.]
Kain: "You pay him."
Julie: "Why?"

[The best part is that I'm not sure if Strauss could figure out whether Kain and the Doc were kidding or not.]
Kain: "If you get captured by the enemy, you have to destroy your comm unit."
Doc: "Eat it."
Kain: "And you have to chew. Swallowing is not enough."
Strauss: "...Really?"

[The Doc is a man who sometimes has illusions of grandeur. Sometimes they're not illusions.]
Doc: "I never considered being assassinated accidentally. That's so anti-climactic."

[There were a number of lines of the night -- not included herein -- involving Sam concealing a weapon in certain unmentionable parts of his body.]
Josh the GM: "I try to run a classy game. I fail."

[Unlike the Doc, Maia has no illusions of grandeur.]
Josh the GM: "You're a functionary."
Julie: "I'm no one of importance."

[Way to hit on Maia's wife, Doc.]
Doc: "I bet you're just as bored to be here as I am."
Celina: "I somehow don't think you're bored."
Doc (locking eyes with her): "Well, not at the moment."

[Maia is not witness to the previous exchange, but I'm still at the table.]
Julie: "Are you seducing my wife?!?"

[Sam has a simple way of dealing with most problems.]
Josh the GM: "You're looking for trouble, and trouble, she's a-coming."
Ariel: "I shoot it."

[A gunfight breaks out at the gala dinner where the PCs are acting as security. Several people have already been shot. Mass pandemonium erupts.]
Brock: "Why do you need a silencer?"
Ariel: "'Cause I don't want to freak out the crowd."

[C'mon, how many people do you really need for interrogation?]
Doc: "Keep him alive, please."
Kain: "I already have an alive guy!"

[What happens when using improvised weapons at a formal dinner.]
Doc: "Only salad forks can be used in the assault of an assassin. Brush up on your etiquette!"

[A reporter is trying to get statements in the aftermath of the assassination attempt.]
Sam: "I have a statement: these pigs in a blanket are excellent."

[Sometimes, you never can tell.]
Kain: "They'd have to be the stupidest death commandos of all time to carry incriminating evidence with them. Granted, they may be the stupidest commandos of all time..."

[Fear the GM's power to control life and death!]
Josh the GM: "Only two people wounded who weren't destined to be."

[Kain finds out that the attackers at the party probably got their IDs from a terrorist organization operating in Peace River.]
Kain: "I'll tell Maia."
Jan Augusta (Kain's informant): "She'll sleep better."
Kain: "I doubt it."

[I'm not sure whether this is actually good news or not.]
Kain (to Maia): "Good news: according to Jan Augusta, this isn't actually your fault."

[With Sam's supreme amount of gunslinging ability, this might not actually be a metaphor.]
Sam: "We can shoot them in the Achilles' heel."

[The Doc's lessons in tactics, part 1.]
Brock: "Puny man with your puny knife."
Georges: "It's okay. Sam's behind me; he'll shoot them."

And that's it for this week. Join us next week when we do more deep investigative work. And probably shoot people.


Certain Betrayal said...

[Master of disguise & theatrics]
Kain: "I've got a delivery for Ms. Lucas."
Reporter: "She's not here, that's a big box! What's in it?"
Kain: "Does this say packaging consultant? (pointing to the chest-tag of his uniform) No! it says delivery. I don't know what's in the box lady. In fact, we're not even supposed to look inside the box. Lady how would you like it if someone looked inside your box?"

Heavy Josh said...

It was at that point that Julie began laughing so hard she put her face to the table.

Heavy Josh said...

[Sometimes the GM gets a good burn in. It helps to have indispensable, insufferable NPCs hanging around.]
Maia: "Vemeer, coffee."
Vemeer: "It's over there."

Julie said...

No, no. Maia's not nearly that crass. It was more like this:

Vemeer: "Would you like some coffee?"
Maia: "Yes, that would be lovely."
Vemeer: "It's over there."

And, yeah, Kain as the delivery guy was awesome.

Heavy Josh said...

True true.

Hermes 72 - Heavy Gear RPG - Most artwork Copyright 2002 Dream Pod 9, Inc.