Friday, August 26, 2011

Wordslingin'

For those who might not remember, Our Heroes' (tm) current mission is to protect Dr. Henriette Vovelle, the astrophysicist, from people who want to kill her. Tonight we managed to make contact with Vovelle's husband, Professor Artoor Vovelle, in an attempt to arrange a meeting with his wife. Sadly, we made contact just as six Forzi goons were attempting to kidnap him. And while we managed to escape the ensuing firefight with Athur unharmed and a Forzi hostage to boot, we are clearly not out of the frying pan yet.

[We're surveilling Professor Vovelle at Rosie's, a trendy coffee shop. Clearly, we must have firearms to match the occasion.]
Josh: "This is my new Apple SmartShot Shotgun!"

[Lyta and Ennik notice some goons starting to move in on Professor Vovelle, but manage to get to him before they do. He has no idea who we are and we have scant moments to convince him that we're the good guys.]
Ennik: "Doctor, come with us."
Lyta: "Really, that's your line?"

[Ennik attempts to jump through a window.]
Georges the GM: "The glass fails its opposed roll."

[Really, there's only one thing that can happen in this situation.]
Julie: "Chaos ensues?"
Georges the GM: "Chaos ensues."

[Lyta uses her telescoping staff as a pivot point to do a roundhouse kick to one of the goon's heads.]
Georges the GM: "Roll hand-to-hand."
Brock: "Technically this is foot-to-head."

[Lukas, who had taken up a position a little away from the cafe, rushes back, only to find a suspicious-looking van rapidly approaching the scene.]
Brock: "Anything I can knock into their path? Old lady, GREL, apple cart..."

[Of course, where some see problems, others see opportunity.]
Georges the GM: "You see a van approaching."
Josh: "Oh, good. We could use a getaway vehicle."

[The van stops just in front of Lukas.]
Brock: "I inform everyone that my plan is to storm the van and shoot the driver in the head."
Georges the GM: "As you climb in the van, you note another goon."
Brock: "Okay, I change the plan."

[Lukas' new plan is to throw a grenade into the van, thus killing our opposition.]
Julie: "We'd have a getaway vehicle if you weren't about to explode it."
Josh: "The grenade is certainly going to reduce the retail value."

[We escape from the firefight with only minor wounds.]
Ariel: "So far I don't think we've killed anyone."
Josh: "Except the four guys in the van."
Ariel: "Oh, yeah. Oops."

[One of the goons -- call him Deno -- consistently fumbled his rolls. The last of which was a dodge roll to avoid Torgath's bullet. He wound up taking over 200 points of damage, enough to kill him at least twice over.]
Ariel: "Deno's not going to be unlucky anymore."

[The fight over, Torgath prepares to leave his sniping position before anyone comes looking for him.]
Ariel: "I straighten my tie..."
Julie: "You have a tie?"
Brock: "It's a clip-on."

[We've captured one of the Forzi goons and taken him, along with Professor Artoor Vovelle, to an abandoned restaurant. Having determined that the Forzi's name is Antonio, we call up our ex-Forzi henchman, Perry, to see if he knows him.]
Perry: "I know two Antonio's."
Lukas: "Tell me the two most important things about each of them."
Perry: "The most important thing about one Antonio is that he has this sister that I banged..."

[Upon being rescued, the first thing Artoor does is smoke a large joint. So imagine all his quotes with the stereotypical stoner haze.]
Lukas: "Those men weren't there to kill you. They were there to capture you."
Artoor: "Well, that's a change."

[Lyta is having a conversation with Artoor, trying to get more information out of him.]
Josh: "Why don't we interrupt this conversation to interrogate Antonio?"
Julie: "You can go ahead; we're not in the same room."
Georges the GM: "Yeah, but I'm also Antonio."

[It's always good to know your enemies.]
Josh: "We're up against femme fatale ninja assassins."
Brock: "We don't merit femme fatala ninja assassins. Maybe the next time..."

[We inform Artoor that our true purpose in rescuing him is to set up a meeting with Henriette.]
Artoor: "Why do you want to meet with my wife?"
Lukas: "We have a physics question for her."
Ennik: "Also, my colleague has a book he wants her to sign."
Artoor: "...Trippy."

[Having worked out a deal with Artoor, Lyta suggests that she accompany him to a restaurant so that he can indulge his munchies while Lukas and Ennik deal with Antonio.]
Athur (to Lyta): "There's this other place... more intimate... you'd like it."
Lukas: "Whatever you do, don't kill him."

[Lukas floats the idea of letting Antonio go, but first he needs to gauge his mood.]
Lukas: "Am I gonna have to go around looking over my shoulder the rest of my life? Or the rest of yours?"

[The deal is done. With only one small technicality.]
Lukas: "We let you go, you owe us."
Antonio: "Yeah, that's how I see it."
Lukas: "So, where should we shoot you?"


Sadly, just as Antonio opened the door of the restaurant to walk out to his newly-restored (and admittedly painful) freedom, he got his head blown off. Oh, will combat never cease? How will Our Heroes (tm) deal with this latest complication? Come back next week to find out!




Heavy Gear Roleplaying Game

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