Friday, September 14, 2012

Wordslingin'

All Gear battles, all the time! You might recall that last time, Our Heroes (tm) had just escaped from the exploding MinTech mine, only to be informed of 12 incoming enemy hostiles. So what do you do when you're outnumbered, outgunned, and outflanked? Blow up a landship. Clearly.

[Our Heroes (tm) rush to the battlefield where the Battle of Nazarine was fought. It's full of debris: broken-down Gears and hovertanks, scrap metal and shrapnel. It's the perfect site for an ambush. Except for one problem.]
Brock: "Be prepared for the possibility that they may have prepared this battlefield."
Josh: "Aw, crap."

[As we reach the battlefield, Torgath notices a Gear power up from amidst a pile of broken Gears.]
Josh: "So it's a zombie Gear attack?"

[The main feature of the battlefield is the broken-down Landship Ezekiel, fallen in such a way as to provide a make-shift bridge across a large ravine. Our original plan was to run across it. However, as hostile Gears are popping up left, right, and center, it might be time to revise that.]
Ariel: "I'm getting the sense that the Ezekiel is a trap."
Josh: "Yeah, clearly."

[The fighting is joined. In addition to the twelve bogies closing in from behind and the five that have popped up in the middle of the battlefield is a giant Grizzly Gear. Sadly, only Lukas really has any experience in large-scale Gear battles.]
Brock: "There's really something you could be doing!"
Ariel: "You could tell me and I won't know it."

[Georges the GM describes the developing scene.]
Georges the GM: "The Grizzly's got a snub cannon and a light rail gun."
Josh: "This is double-plus ungood."

[Ennik takes lots of enemy fire.]
Josh: "This is gonna suck. What do you want me to say?"
Brock: "'I'm behind cover'?"

[Ennik receives a garbled communication from the Grizzly.]
Brock: "Don't spend time deciphering -- shoot!"

[Our Heroes (tm) escape onto the Landship Ezekiel through a breach in the hull. The problem is that the only other breach in the hull is partway over the ravine.
Brock tries to console the rest of us.]

Julie: "So we have to jump across the ravine?"
Brock: "Part of the ravine. A short part."

[Ennik finally deciphers the garbled message. Unfortunately.]
Ennik: "That's Ti in the Grizzly."
Lukas: "I guess he's lucky I fucking missed!"

[Lukas tries to get a look out the breach to see what's going on with Ti and the enemy Gears.]
Georges the GM: "How much of you do you expose?"
Brock: "You know what I don't get about Gears? Why don't they have cameras at the end of their hands."

[Lyta is conflicted, now that she knows that Ti is on the battlefield.]
Lukas: "Ti fired us!"
Ennik: "And then you fired at him! He's not gonna give you a recommendation!"

[On the Landship Ezekiel, we encounter more hostiles.]
Ariel: "It might be one of Ti's guys."
Brock: "I will hail him while gesturing with my heavy autocannon."

[We take out the first hostile, but there may be more.]
Ariel: "Can we roll another tactics die for our new plan?"
Brock: "Our new plan is 'move cautiously.'"

[Due to the narrowness of the corridor, we need to advance in single file.]
Julie: "I'm in the middle of the pack."
Georges the GM: "That's not a good place to be... depending on how far the grenade reaches."

[Lyta deals with the grenade by throwing it out the ravine-breach, widening it. Meanwhile, Lukas decides to deal with the hostile Gear by shooting it at close quarters with 16 rockets.]
Julie: "Is this a problem on a level equivalent to throwing a concussion grenade in a room full of fuel canisters?"
Georges the GM: "Funny you should mention it. Have you considered that you're on an engineering floor?"

[Brock keeps track of his kills. Ariel suggests that he count his assist on a Gear that Kain killed, given that Brock used to be Kain's player.]
Brock: "Kain doesn't do anything as gauche as keep track of his kills."

[We move up to the next level, where we've been told there's a way out. However, we are obviously on the lookout for more hostile Gears.]
Ariel: "According to the law of conservation of ninjas..."
Josh: "It's the inverse ninja law!"
Brock: "It's a corollary."

[Ennik finally decides to do an active scan of the Ezekiel.]
Georges the GM: "You pick up all sorts of signals!"
Brock: "What bonus does that give us?! We were living in happy ignorance!"

[Sadly, one of the consequences of the fire-fight going on aboard ship is that the containment for one of the fission reactors has cracked and is leaking both steam and radiation.]
Josh: "Take your anti-cancer pills because things are about to get mutatey!"

[Brock is skeptical about how Ennik knows there's been a spike in radiation.]
Brock: "Your Gear has a geiger counter?"
Josh: "It does when I roll a 7."

[We contemplate the consequences of a crack in the reactor.]
Brock: "Do they explode or melt down?"
Josh: "Yes."

[On the collapsed flight deck is a breach where we can exit the Ezekiel. Sadly, there is also a Gear there. Torgath shoots it with rockets.]
Ariel: "Did I hit?"
Georges the GM: "No, but you shoot the shit out of where he is."

[Due to her spiffy Gear and a specialization, Lyta is extremely effective at Gear piloting... at least when she doesn't botch.]
Julie: "I roll 10 to dodge."
Brock: "And that's what's wrong with this game."

[Kain's ally Espanoza throws herself on a grenade so the rest of us don't have to.]
Ariel: "Thank you, minion."
Brock: "Thou faithful servant."

[The good news is that one of the enemy Gears does not hit Lukas with his rockets. The bad news is...]
Georges the GM: "He misses substantially."
Josh: "That means he hits the hull."
Georges the GM: "Or the stairs you were planning to climb up."

[Safely off the ship, Ennik informs Ti about the imminent fission meltdown.]
Ti Corovan: "Thanks for the heads-up. Any suggestions on how to get out of here?"
Brock: "Second star to the right..."

[Of course, it's not fair to tell only Ti...]
Ennik: (on open comms) "This is the emergency broadcasting system. This is not a test. There is a fission leak on the Ezekiel. That is all. Thank you for your time."

[Lukas shoots a hostile Gear at the edge of the flight deck, causing him to fall.]
Georges the GM: "He was preparing to jump off. Now he's falling off. There's a critical difference."

[With seconds to spare, Our Heroes (tm) jump free of the Ezekiel, only to watch it finally break apart and fall into the river in the ravine below, sending up a gigantic cloud of superheated, radioactive steam.]
Brock: "You know what's worse than a cracked fission reactor? Two cracked fission reactors!"
Josh: "Poisoning the water supply!"
Brock: "...Eh. We don't live here."

[Kain secures us an airlift away from the battlefield.]
Brock: "How hot is it down there?"
Georges the GM: "...The pilot's uncomfortable at 10,000 feet."

[Sadly, we can't leave behind Ti Corovan, who might still be on the battlefield. Lukas, Lyta, and Kain return in their Gears to see if he can be rescued.]
Georges the GM: "Roll a health check."
Brock: "Cancer's delicious!"

[We roll a health check.]
Julie: "I roll an eight."
Brock: "She's protected by the power of love."

For better or ill, Ti Corovan's body was not found in his highly radioactive Gear, and a few days later, Our Heroes (tm) receive an automated "If you're reading this, then I'm dead" message from him. So... sucks to be us. At least the 61st century has bacta tanks to remove the significant levels of radiation we incurred finding out that Ti escaped the battlefield. Remember, kids, if you don't see a body, they're not really dead.





Heavy Gear Roleplaying Game

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